A Day in the Life of Greg Jordan

08.30: Wake up. Start daily ritual of checking iPhone to see if Trump has turned into a peach yet, or done anything stupid. Phew, nothing major. Just the usual drivel.

09.00: Lonely start in the office. Look out the window, look up at the sky and think thank #%$ we postponed the rooftop drinks scheduled for this evening.

09.30: Check the latest on-line WIP on an ongoing project with Proximity. Ponder if I should mention that maybe the drink could do with an extra bubble, far left. Decide silence is always, always, always the best option.

10.00: First true crisis of the day. My daughter calls to say she can’t get Spotify to work through Vodafone, so spend an hour pretending to be all techy and nerdy. It starts working by accident.

11.30: VAT done literally at the 11^th hour. The book-keeper's been telling me for over two weeks that it’s due in and I do the final push with 30 minutes to get to the post office.

12.45: Post Office, Great Portland Street – getting the VAT off. Realised I left my phone in the car, so panic I may have to stand in a queue for five minutes without checking if Trump has done anything stupid.

13.00: Halcyon Gallery, Mayfair. Run in with a Bob Dylan painting wrapped in a Sports Direct bag to stop the hard rain falling on it. They say they’ll frame it for me. Drool at the most beautiful Miros and Warhols on the walls. Sigh and run out.

14.30: Catch up with Neil, our Head of New Business. We ponder what ‘new business’ actually means.

15.00: Coffee or a quick snooze. Decide it’s classy coffee.

16.00: Check new online WIP on the Proximity jobbie. Fire the work over to the agency to have a look at and get feedback.

18.00: Start the painful and nerve-wracking process of organising a conference call with BBDO Atlanta on a decent script for the one and only Bobby Farrelly. It’s sorted with 10 minutes to spare. Bobby dazzles them (!) and just asks them when does he start. Oh, those film people have no idea...

19.00: Final catch-up of the day with our intrepid NY rep Meredyth for the autopsy on how the call went with Bobby and BBDO. She shows me her pregnant tummy.

Day done.  Final check to see if Trump has done anything stupid.