Christmas ads 2021: the musical view

Coca Cola

You don’t need Dick Van Dyke to tell you that if your chimney was made from cardboard and gaffer tape you’d be toast before you can say bristles. 

That aside, this is (of course) another epic holidays outing for Coke. 

Relatively safe ground with the sentiment but they’ve devised a rather canny narrative to express it. 

The score convincingly drives, realised though a luxurious and gargantuan arrangement of Chim Chim Cher-ee.

See what they did? Clevrrrrr! 

Lidl

Good old Lidl keeping the fun alive… although there’s a couple of Xmas lunch faux pas to address…

1. Rest your chosen meat stuff for at least 30 mins after extracting from the oven 
2. Do not feel pressured to buy a whole beef joint as a ‘side’ .. (does anyone do that?)

Truth is, we probably won’t be allowed meat in the future unless home-generated from plant matter and bovine DNA, realised via some sort of digital printing device. Less than happy days ahead folks!

Christmas song tombola presumably employed for the music choice here with Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree. I suspect too there was a conversation about ‘modernising’ the track in a pointless series of futuristic realisations to match the respective scenes. 

Gladly, someone saw sense. 

Boots

This is what the people want at Christmas: a visual feast, a touch of magic, generosity in abundance, impossibly beautiful friends, family, baubles, bubbles… all the clichés! 

Although serving a good turn, Miss Coleman’s awe of her grandmother at the end is a bit over-played and left a slightly stiltoney after taste.

The score however is impeccably arranged and recorded, a big cinematic ensemble piece checking in on the sentimental, the playful, the inquisitive, the bounding Christmassy gallop it’s all here and never gets tired or too saccharine. 

Bravo, whoever wrote this! [NB; it was Rachel Portman]

Deliveroo

I don’t suppose Deliveroo’s intention is to ACTUALLY convince people they offer their service as a Christmas gift is it? Because of course, to do so would be as tasteless as a flaccid, two-hour old Big Mac; which is pretty much standard down at the arches, so heaven knows how much worse one could get delivered on a moped from across town! 

The audio on this film is loud. I feel like I recognise the tune but there’s so much else going on I can’t place it. 

Each listen (approx. 17) produced irritation and distraction either from voice or music or wind chimes. 

It’s a clusterfuck of audio... with bells on.

John Lewis

If you’ve ever bought property that’s not new, you’ll no doubt have commissioned a surveyor’s report.

Disappointing, isn’t it, when you realise that the resulting lengthy and robust document is nothing more than a Word template sent out to 20 other people just with your details pasted over the [NAME HERE] bits. 

I get that very same feeling when I see a John Lewis Christmas ad nowadays. Everything’s basically a template; feel sorry for me kid centre stage, unnecessary emotional spoon-feeding, famous pop song with all the fun/joy/real emotion of the original lipo-sucked out. 

I really thought they’d broken the mould for good last year - new song, exciting new artist - but no, back to type with someone who sings like they just wet the bed. 

Sports Direct

People like me shop in Sports Direct for two reasons: because we’re overweight and can’t fit in jeans and/or because we’re after a cheap pair of kids football boots. 

In other words this is not a sexy brand! So how is it they can attract such a fantastic cast of actual, real-life sports stars? 

Yeah, yeah I get it, money talks, but fuck me, if I was Emma Raducanu I’d be WAAAAY more choosey about my brand partnerships. That said, it’s an entertaining piece overall expertly scored by comrade G. Farley, although it’s annoyingly interrupted on too many occasions for ‘narrative pace’ presumably; picky I know, but the reason this kind of musical treatment works for a chaotic scene is because it builds in speed an intensity. 

On this film it doesn’t get the chance to fully deliver. 

TK MAXX

Musical cover versions on Christmas ads are about as safe as the contents of Ed Sheeran’s pants, but this is far merrier than the aforementioned bedwetter variety. 

Is there a thinly veiled message about being different highlighted by the song choice? 

Who cares? It bangs!