The war on girls: why can’t society take young women seriously?

If more men were like Harry Styles the world would be better. Harry Styles is a template. A benchmark. A goal. A beacon of kindness and integrity, helping redefine the concept of masculinity. 

While his former 1D bandmate Liam Payne is David Brenting all over TikTok with threats of violence and a hundred different accents, Harry is bestowing light and sequins upon us, playing with traditional gender stereotypes and performing with Shania Twain. OMG!  

While Liam Payne is David Brenting all over TikTok with threats of violence and a hundred different accents, Harry is bestowing light and sequins upon us.

My favourite Styles interview was in Rolling Stone magazine five years ago. I liked it because he defended young girls. Back in 2017, as Styles was launching his solo career, the Rolling Stone interviewer challenged the credibility of his existing fanbase. Harry didn’t like the question: 

“Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music — short for popular, right? — have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy. That’s not up to you to say. Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future. Our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they keep the world going.”

Above: Harry Styles; "A beacon of kindness and integrity, helping redefine the concept of masculinity".

It felt like a big deal because girls don’t often get men batting for them. No one really sticks up for young girls, these relatively vulnerable human beings with hopes and dreams and brains. Nor are they taken very seriously even though, statistically speaking, young girls are likely to get better grades than boys at school. When girls are allowed to go to school, that is! Haha! 

Since the dawn of time, and as the P&G Like a Girl campaign so wisely stated, young girls have been the punchline for a range of nasty jokes they never asked for.

Since the dawn of time, and as the P&G Like a Girl campaign so wisely stated, young girls have been the punchline for a range of nasty jokes they never asked for. You throw like a girl, you run like a girl, you’re crying like a girl. Rowan Atkinson [aka Mr Bean, aka the most annoying character in the history of comedy] told us recently that “every joke needs a victim”. I disagree. I believe that preying on the weaker in comedy is the shittiest type of joke there is. 

These punchlines start in school and end up at work. Once, at a former employer, I participated in ‘presentation training’ for 10 men and 10 women, being run by a white fella in his 60s. A young woman, probably in her early 20s, was giving a pre-prepared talk to the room. “How can you ever expect people to take you seriously with that silly little girl voice?” the trainer guffawed, humiliating her and giving her a complex that will likely last forever. All the other men in the room laughed. Two of the women laughed. The rest of us couldn’t believe our fucking ears. 

Above: Always' Like a Girl campaign voiced the fact that young girls have been the punchline for a range of nasty jokes.

We refuse to take young girls seriously. Whether it’s because they wear the pink dresses we bought for them, or obsess over the prettiness we told them was important, or want to marry a Prince like Disney demanded, or wear too much of the makeup we sold to them… girls have this incredible knack of irritating a world that made them that way. We laugh at their ‘desperate’ duckface selfies that were taken with the phones their parents purchased, in a social media world built by us that we know fucks them up because SO MUCH RESEARCH TELLS US THIS.

Like the best bullies, we’re grabbing the hands of girls and slapping them back in their own faces. “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” we laugh.

It’s infuriating that we mock girls for growing up, predictably, in accordance with how we groomed them. Like the best bullies, we’re grabbing the hands of girls and slapping them back in their own faces. “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” we laugh. And sometimes, when they refuse to adhere to the farce of gender norms imposed upon them and decide to use different pronouns, we get even more annoyed, don’t we?

And now - not just content with mockery - we want to fuck up their lives completely. Well, America does. We want to give them a future in which they have no control over their own bodies. Harry Styles was one of many (but not enough?) celebrities using their huuuuuuge platform to speak out against the overturning of Roe v Wade, which means any US state has the autonomy to make abortion illegal. 

Above: Olivia Rodrigo, accompanied by Lily Allen, dedicated the song Fuck You to America's Supreme Court Justices.

I was emotional watching Glastonbury on Saturday night with my friends (on TV, that is, I would never put my body through actually attending it again). As Olivia Rodrigo, one of the punchiest and most powerful voices in pop music, performed some of her utter bangers, she looked out onto a crowd filled with the faces of young girls, passionately and angrily singing along. At one point, Rodrigo was joined on stage by Lily Allen to sing a duet of Fuck You, and told the audience: 

“I’m devastated and terrified. So many women and so many girls are going to die because of this. I wanted to dedicate this next song to the five members of the Supreme Court who have showed us that at the end of the day, they truly don’t give a shit about freedom. The song is for the justices: Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, Amy Coney Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh. We hate you! We hate you.” The crowd of pop fans, sitting on their parents shoulders, screamed in agreement. Silly little girls? They seemed pretty fucking serious to me. 

The crowd of pop fans, sitting on their parents shoulders, screamed in agreement. Silly little girls? They seemed pretty fucking serious to me. 

This is truly a terrifying moment. Roe v Wade has race and class implications, so the deaths amongst different social groups will be disproportionately skewed to girls of colour and the working class. And, let’s remember, there is abhorrent shit going down outside of America, too. The rapidly decreasing rights that young women have over their own bodies is just one of many injustices that women all over the world face. According to global children's charity TheirWorld, an average of 40,000 young women under the age of 18 are married every day. This is around 15 million each year, and more than 60% of child brides in developing countries have no formal education. 

Even in 2022 young girls are seen as a commodity or objects of legislation. As possessions to control and buy and sell and suppress. Their role in society is determined by old men from the moment they’re born. In the words of the creepiest song ever, sung by Maurice Chevalier in the film Gigi: 

“Those little eyes

So helpless and appealing…

…Thank heaven for little girls…

…Without them

What would little boys do…” 

Above: US athlete Simone Biles received criticism when she stepped away from the sport for mental health reasons.

The uncomfortable truth (which is as disgusting to write as it must be to read) is that old men want to control young girls. Old men hate young girls. I don’t know whether it’s because they’re scared of them, or because they’re jealous of them, or because they desperately need somebody to bully and young girls are the weakest. When young girls show signs of independence and that they might want to exist as powerful and free individuals, old men get angry. They might blame religion or morals, but really they just want to keep controlling young girls. 

The uncomfortable truth is that old men want to control young girls. Old men hate young girls.

And, because old men hate young girls, a few women decide to hate young girls too, just to be liked by the men. Look at the hardcore vitriol that Emma Raducanu and Simone Biles received just for stepping away from competitions for the sake of their mental health. These young women were being ‘uncontrollable.’ The conversation was led by men (Piers Morgan needs help, seriously) but picked up by women, too. Look at the shit that old men give Greta Thunberg. It’s WEIRD. Nothing makes old men angrier than a young girl with a voice.

And you think young men aren’t gonna pick up on these vibes? They learn pretty early. The bestselling author, Jane Caro, recently went to a school to give a talk on a historical fiction series about Queen Elizabeth I. She hated the experience, saying: “The phalanx of Year 12 private school boys, with their legs wide and their arms crossed, were an intimidating audience. Is this generation of young men better able to hear women tell their stories than their fathers and grandfathers were, as is claimed, or not? I came away unsure.”

Above: The fans of South Korean pop group, BTS, who are mainly young girls, are are respectful and positive.

It’s funny, though. While young men are spreading their legs and following in their grandfathers’ footsteps, silly little girls are making the world a better place. The concept of ‘teenyboppers’ has been used since the 50s to take the piss out of passionate young women that liked and bonded over music (but young boys bonding over a game of football is totally fine, if not essential. OK, buddy). But, at a time when online fandoms are becoming increasingly toxic and vicious, what a surprise that better behaviours are being spearheaded by young girls. I’m being sarcastic. It is not a surprise. 

While young men are spreading their legs and following in their grandfathers’ footsteps, silly little girls are making the world a better place.

The fanbase of South Korean boy band BTS is 87% female. This fanbase calls itself the ARMY, and has some of the strictest, most mature rules of any community. For example, in the ARMY, you're not allowed to approach the members if you see them out in public. You're also not allowed to post on socials if you see them. They have detailed manifestos and guidelines to which members respectfully adhere. In one document it says: “Never forget that we are the face of BTS and every action we make whether positive or negative has repercussions on their reputation.” 

The power of passionate young women is exemplified in Marvel’s latest show, Ms Marvel. It - SHOCK HORROR - has the lowest ratings of any MCU series because - SHOCK HORROR - it’s about a teenage girl. But this tale of a super-fan who evolves into superhero is one of the most innovative shows they’ve made. It’s also the best reviewed of any show they’ve made, and is behind only Blank Panther (by 1%!) in terms of the most popular MCU property ever. Why? Because it has depth. Because teenage girls are cool, and funny, and they’re colourful, they’re powerful, and we never expect them to win.