Anglo-American Fusion to Tickle the Tastebuds

Breakfast: Full English Breakfast Pizza

If you hate the idea of avocado on toast, this is the perfect way to start your day. It combines one traditional breakfast dish with a breakfast dish that is, for lack of a better term, contemporary.

But hold up. Wait a minute. Let me put some grease in it. Pizza? A breakfast food? Yeah, sometimes. Depending on how hard you rage, brah. New York is a fast-paced town and a cold leftover slice is an effective form of sustenance. Combine that with the Full English Breakfast and you’ve got portable tradition in the palm of your hand.

The utility and efficiency of a New York slice with the gut-busting nourishment of a plate full of brown stuff: presenting the Full English Breakfast Pizza.

Lunch: Jamaican Mushy Pea Patty

This is a lunch everyone will love. From dreadheads to old heads. From Bob Marley enthusiasts to fans of Marley & Me. From millennial creatives to client-side baby boomers.

While also available in London, the Jamaican patty really rose to fame in the Caribbean bakeries, bodegas, and pizza joints of New York City. Its story is one of colonialism and turmeric-tinged tastiness. Settlers brought the Cornish pasty to the Caribbean, which was then mixed with Indian, African, and Caribbean influences to create a dish that, despite its namesake, is as ethnically ambiguous as most TV commercials. Mushy peas, on the other hand, is as pure and English as it gets.

So, in a way, this quick lunch takes us full circle. We’re recolonising the Jamaican patty with English mushy peas. And if that sounds wrong, it is. But hey, yellow and green!

Dinner: Hot Dog Wellington

The dirty water dog is perhaps the most iconic of New York dishes. It’s the mystery meat tube of the masses. The ubiquitous deliciousness that transcends Yelp stars, Michelin stars, and even cosmic stars.

Beef Wellington is equally as classic, albeit a bit more luxurious. It’s the Rolls Royce of meat in pastry dishes. Meaning it’s decadent, timeless, and it doesn’t have a care in the world about what you think. Some may look at the pairing and ask, “Hey dude, isn’t that just pigs in a blanket?” To which I will reply, “L. O. L. You cultureless rube.”

These are pigs wrapped in Persian rugs, whose piglet children have trust funds that’ll keep them from working a single day in their sweet, lard-and-in-charge lives. Instead, these piglets will marry rappers and will define culture. In other words, you’ll want to devour these Hot Dog Wellingtons.

Drink: Long Island English Breakfast Iced Tea

Anything invented by Bob “Rosebud” Butt seems like it should knock you on your ass, and that’s exactly what the Long Island Iced Tea does. Butt claims to have invented the drink in 1972 in Long Island, New York. Since then, the instant-hangover concoction has spread like projectile vomit, from the bars of the Big Apple to Applebee’s establishments around the world.

English Breakfast Tea might be the perfect foil to its Long Island counterpart. It’s a black tea, so it’s loaded with caffeine. It’s also meant to be the perfect companion to the hangover-curing Full English Breakfast. That kind of energy boost, and loose association to grease, can set anyone on the path to sober righteousness.

So, pinkies up y’all, it’s time for a cup of New York trash, mixed with a bit of UK class.